Tag Archives: well-being

Resilience Alphabet – P is for Pause and Praise

All over the country last night, as has become a national habit, people were clapping for those who are seeking to look after us in many ways during this time. As in all times of crisis, there are many hidden heroes and in your own way you may be one of them, quietly getting on with something important, and something that needs to be done.

Today in terms of personal resilience I want to encourage you to Pause for a different reason: to take the time to consider how you have fared over the last three weeks; to recognise those things you have done that have strengthened your resilience and to recommit to making some of them a daily habit. In times of high stress, we need to practise habits of high self-care, as there are so many possibilities for having our energy and resources zapped! So pause and form a new commitment to what you know enables you to take a break from all that is happening.

And turning to the second word, I wonder how readily you give praise, and how readily you receive praise. Today’s mission is to find or better still create opportunities to say thank you to the many people who are making your life brighter during these times when we are all adjusting to new ways of living our life. Maybe you can even set yourself a target of 5 or 10 people you want to acknowledge and thank for how they are making a difference to you during this time.

So as you Pause and set good habits for your self-care, and seek opportunities to praise and thank people for a jobs large and small, be kind to your too and as always Stay Safe.

Resilience Alphabet – O is for Openness

If I had been asked to write an article called “A week in the life of an Executive Coach” a few weeks ago, I imagine it would have been very different to the one I would write if I were to focus on the last three weeks. The scale of the challenges clients are facing, the speed of change, and the need to make critical decisions with wide-ranging consequences have never been experienced by most of us in our lifetime.

Some of you will know that I am accredited in Conversational Intelligence®, the work of Judith Glaser, which looks amongst other things at how we build trust as human beings through the openness and transparency of our conversations. That work has never been more relevant than it is today.

In terms of personal resilience one of the best things we can do right now from a well-being point of view is be open about (1) how we are today, (2) what we are feeling, and (3) what our hopes and plans are for going forward. This degree of openness comes more naturally to some than others. Some will immediately go into thoughts when we ask them how they are feeling. The answer to the feeling question is best described in one word. If we spent just a fraction of the time we spend on media input on being open with each other and ourselves we would release some of the personal pressure we are all feeling.

In my work with clients I often say of difficult thoughts and feelings that “it is better out than in”, that is, it is better to be expressed. Whether that is releasing these thoughts and feelings through talking it out, writing it out, exercising it out or whatever. Letting the steam out a little at a time is way more helpful than holding it in until it explodes.

It is not brave to ignore the elephant of fear and threat that is in the room. Courage is acknowledging it and working together to navigate the current situation in spite of it. Take care today to ensure that as you listen to the feelings of others, you are open about what you feel too. Be open, and as always stay safe.

Resilience Alphabet – N is for ‘No’

There is a well known saying “If you need something done, ask a busy person.” The last few weeks have created an interesting phenomenon in the workplace, and perhaps elsewhere. Some people are working 16 hour days and have done so for the last 16 or so days in order to give us our best chance of a good health outcome from COVID-19 aka known as staying alive. At the same time others are feeling stir crazy because of the guidance to stay at home, work from home, have the kids at home, and only exercise once a day.

One of the keys to personal resilience right now is the ability to know when to say No! That takes me to a question I haven’t answered in these posts. “What’s so important about personal resilience?”. Our bodies are designed to respond to crisis. What they are not designed for is to deal with high levels of stress over a prolonged period of time. At the very least we’re looking at being in this state for a few months rather than a few weeks.

A long time ago I was asked a question: “What is your ‘Yes’ worth if you don’t say ‘No’?” It is, and always has been, important to say ‘No’ to some things in order to say ‘Yes’ to what’s important. If we fail to make this distinction, we will simply arrive at overload, particularly in times of high stress.


This morning I said ‘No’ to something I would ordinarily have said a resounding ‘Yes’ to. In terms of personal resilience, what may you need to say ‘no’ to at this time, in order to ensure you have time and energy for the ‘Yes’ that only you can provide. Take time to re-evaluate your current priorities this morning, and when you say ‘no’ know that it is for a more impactful ‘yes’.

Resilience Alphabet – M is for Move

I wonder how well you have been taking care of your own resilience over the last couple of weeks amidst all the pressures you may be facing, particularly if you are on the front line of dealing with COVID-19. Some simple measures can help you to counter all of the negative messaging and fears of the current situations, and I’m sure we all have our own tried and tested ways of supporting ourselves in difficult times.

M is an easy letter to find words for when we think about personal resilience – I have still X to come! I’ve chosen move. It’s such a simple thing to do even when our movements are restricted in so many ways.  If you are working from home and largely focussed on a laptop just now you will know how easy it is to be stationary for long chunks of the day. Here are some things to think about.

1. Create a standing desk with the ironing table – anything that restricts its normal use is worthwhile! One of my clients added hat boxes to get the correct height.
2. Set a Sports watch (if you have one) or a timer on your phone to ring every 45 minutes and at the very least at that time go for a walk round you house.
3. Ensure that no matter how busy or distracted you are you use your one permitted slot of exercise every day
4. If you are really adventurous, join the hordes up and down the country who are exercising with Joe Wicks every morning at 9am
5. Find a pair of skipping ropes… or a rope of any kind in the garage
6. Dig out a ball – or three balls and learn to juggle
7. Find someone in your household to play Twister or the Cereal box game
8. Put on your favourite dance music and dance like a mad thing
9. Get out into the green gym if you have one
10. Start a Couch to 5K programme using your one exercise slot a day

I’ve had a frozen shoulder since January and I know how hard it is to move a part of your body that has decided it’s not co-operating. Overcoming out mental barriers are way much more difficult! So commit to doing one thing today on the list, or some other way of getting moving that will remind your body that it was made for moving. And as always, stay safe.

Resilience Alphabet – C is for Choice and Connection

Personal resilience is intrinsically linked with the choices we make and the degree of care for others and self-care we engage in. Being mindful of our personal resilience is not a selfish act, and rather a preservation of our health and well-being in a way we can continue to support and care for others.

I’m curious about the Choices you have made today. At the end of yesterday my last contact with someone whose work centres around the current situation said quietly “It’s not a problem how late it comes through, I’ll be logging in tomorrow anyway”. This was one of the quiet unseen army who are working on our behalf right now, who made a choice that today would be partly about support to others although it is not normally a working day. I made a different choice this morning: to leave this Blog until later in the day, so I could take a break from the busyness of the last two days. So this is an invitation to you to be intentional about the choices you are making right now to balance effort with recovery time. We need both activity and recovery time in order to sustain our efforts.

Which takes me to the second work in my Resilience Alphabet: Connection. I cannot imagine how it feels for people who live alone during these times of staying home. However, I am certain there are many ways in which we can continue to connect with each other through the plethora of electronic means, but also by telephone. Some of you will know that I do a lot of work around Conversational Intelligence®. One of the foundational skills of C-IQ is Listening to Connect. That is not listening to speak, not listening to tell, not listening to ask…. Just listening to make human connection. So I’d like to challenge you to make a point during these weeks to give space to those you connect with to let them be heard and particularly for those who live alone, to give them the chance to express what they are feeling and thinking during the connections we have with them. And don’t forget to connect with yourself – for some of us this will be through reflection, journaling, writing poetry or just taking time to breathe.

So ensure you choose to create enough recovery time, and seek out meaningful connections with others… and yourself. Stay safe – and be kind to you